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Oasis - Ch. 107/??

Title: Oasis - Ch.107/??
Author: [info]shirleyann66
Character: Major Edward Beck
Prompt:   Table 2, #3 - Angry
Fandom:  Jericho
Rating:  PG-13
Warnings : Spoilers for pretty much everything that's ever happened in the series may lie within. 
Word count:  1,070
Summary:
Disclaimer/Claimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated with Jericho or CBS or any of the other PTB in relation to the show (although if anybody has a Major Beck just kickin' around with nothing to do...send him my way!). No infringement is intended. I'm just taking the characters out to play, and will do my best to show them a very, VERY good time. ;)

A/N1: Words in red are Beck's thoughts as he's writing; not what was actually sent.

A/N2:  Words in blue are Beck's memories.  It's cheating, I know - please don't sue me!  :D
 
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July 23, 2008

Jeff -

I just returned to Jericho tonight after almost two weeks away.

I almost wish I'd stayed away.

Heather was just here; she confronted me about what happened to Constantino.

About what I did to Constantino.

Damn it, I could just shoot Jake for telling her the truth! Although considering the conversation – argument – diatribe – knock down, drag out, no holds barred fight we just had, shooting Jake would probably be a very, very bad idea.

To be fair, she'd have discovered the truth anyway sooner or later. Maybe that's why Jake decided to tell her now – so she'd learn about it from somebody she loves.

I greeted her with real pleasure when I opened the front door for her. I'd been worried about her while I was gone and I was thrilled that she had come to see me rather than waiting for me to find her. Then I got good look at her face – and I realized she was furious. She glared at me as she pushed her way into the house and as soon as I shut the door she started talking – ranting really, stumbling over her words and pacing into and around the house her arms and hands flying with the strength of her feelings.

She told me she knew. She yelled; she cried a little and then she yelled some more.

(“I thought you were different! I never thought you'd murder a man in cold blood!”)

I tried to defend myself, to explain (“I did what was necessary to ensure Jericho's security.”) but she wouldn't listen. Then she got to the heart of the matter:

(“That's a lie and you know it! You did it because of me!”)

I told her I didn't do it because of her or for her. I did it because it needed to be done, and it was my responsibility. Not Jake's, not Hawkins', not one of my soldier's. Jericho – and all her residents and everyone in her Territory – are under my protection. The fact that Constantino had been able to terrorize everyone for so long was a direct result of my misjudgment when I first arrived in Jericho. Removing him from the equation was something I should have done the moment I arrived eighteen months ago.

(“No! No, no, NO! You don't murder somebody in cold blood and then talk about it like you took out the garbage!”

Except that's exactly what it was! And it wasn't murder, it was an execution!”)

She told me I wasn't the man she'd thought I was and she didn't think she wanted to know me. She'd forgiven me for Jake, she said, but she didn't think she could ever forgive me for this.

I told her Constantino was a monster; that he would have never left her – Jericho – in peace.

She told me yes, he'd been a monster, but he was still a human being who didn't deserve to be taken out and shot like a rabid dog; that he deserved a fair trial and judgment rendered by the law and a jury of his peers.

I told her that for the vast majority of Jericho Territory, I was the law. In this case, I was also judge, jury – and executioner.

She gave me her clear-eyed look – the look that says she knows more about me than I'm comfortable with, that she sees into the core of me. Mixed into that look was such a mixture of disappointment, anger and horror I actually had to blink and look again.

Then she called me a hypocrite, that I expected others to act in a way I don't act myself. That I spout off about diplomacy and peace and honor only to turn around and commit murder for no good reason.

Which is when the wheels really came off the wagon.

Many things were shouted - by both of us, including charges of willful, childish stupidity (flung at her) and egotistical empire building (flung at me) – among many, many others.

Hurtful, spiteful things – things that have been festering for over a year now. Longer than that – probably for as long as she's known me. As for me, I didn't give a shit that she'd recently come through an horrific ordeal or that she'd been my only friend during some of the darkest moments of my life or that her core of idealism and innocence (which I've always treasured) had been as battered and abused as her body. None of that mattered. I wanted – needed – demanded - her to remove her blinders and face the reality of our new world order.

Fists were slammed on tables, against door jambs, into walls; we shouted in each other's face; we stomped from room to room – yelling all the while. At one point she actually threw a cup at me – which was all that was on the table. She's got a vicious arm and excellent aim – if I hadn't dodged at the last moment I'd be trying to explain to Ronnie tomorrow how I got the goose egg on my forehead.

In the end, she screamed at me to get the hell out of Jericho and to stay the hell out. I was too dangerous, too rigid, too narrow-minded, too military and I would only end up destroying everything.

She actually cracked the glass in my front door as she slammed it behind her.

Now I'm sitting here nursing my bruised hand (which I put through the wall after she left) and also nursing a large scotch (the last of my cherished bottle – I think this occasion definitely deserves it). I'm trying to calm down but my hands are shaking and my eyes are still blurred with rage.

That woman

How she can be so sympathetic to that monster after what he did to her – how she can dare judge me and find me somehow less -

I'm still the commanding office of Jericho Territory's army and she's still the Towns Manager. She'll have to learn to deal with me whether she likes it or not because this is now as much my home as it is hers. Even with my other responsibilities – I'm here to stay.

And if she can't understand that I did what needed to be done, then to hell with her.

Edward

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
nativefloridian
Jun. 23rd, 2010 01:34 am (UTC)
Wow.



Beck is awful hard on his office, isn't he?
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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Oasis - Fanfic in response to the letter100 comm

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